I’ve had a number of recent conversations about “pandemic depression”. Some people call it “depression”, others a “zero-passion” place, others “constant fatigue”. Most of these conversations have been with people who feel like there’s “no reason” to feel this way, who recognize that they’re in a fairly privileged place: working at home, staying healthy, sufficient money for the rent and food, etc.
But what they have in common is their assumption that there is something wrong with them. And I don’t like people assuming there is something wrong with them — that they need fixing. So I want to offer an alternative view to the pathologizing of what I think is a natural reaction to pandemic-isolation.
In a nutshell, what is it I want you to understand?
(This is for those without the patience right now to read on without having a Really Good Reason.)
That changes in your mood, thinking, and behaviour are reflections of changes in your brain functioning
That changes you experience in how your brain is working, in your brain functioning, are generally “features, not bugs”
That your brain is generally “doing its best” for you, it’s not undercutting you or misleading you or acting broken.
But there are principles we need to understand and remember about how the brain works and questions we can ask ourselves to figure out which feature is kicking in.
So I want to look at “pandemic depression” from the perspective of these principles.
Which principles apply?
The brain~body conserves energy wherever possible based on context and conditions
The brain is always context-searching and context-creating, which we manifest as story-telling, trying to ‘make sense” of what we experience. This helps the brain to better understand, learn, and remember - to build the networks that make it up.
That the brain~body matches its energy expenditures to meet the demands we put on the system. (Hint: Or don’t put.)
How do they apply?
Let’s look at each one of those principles more carefully.
Conservation of energy
Brains (and the rest of our bodies) don’t produce some steady supply of energy all the time. Nor do they have an on-off switch that lets us “go” throughout our day and “stop” to sleep. (I know you know this, but sometimes it’s as if we expected this nevertheless. We push until we’re exhausted or we lay down to sleep and wonder why we don’t sleep well or can’t get there at all. But that’s not my main point today…)
For our purposes here, I want to emphasize that our brain~bodies modulate their energy levels depending on demands. Our bodies are efficient - they try to do what they need to do with the least energy expenditure. That’s why our brains tend to develop habits of thought, feeling, and action and why we can find ourselves going into “automatic” so easily. When we do less, or do it more easily, we need less physical energy (and that includes the physical energy your brain needs to do its thinking~feeling thing). When we do the same things over and over, we need less energy to figure them out and execute them.
This also applies to the pandemic needs for isolation and the resulting changes to our daily routines.
Think about all the things that may be different from your “pre-covid” life:
maybe you aren’t driving to work (i.e., watching for traffic, manipulating the car, making decisions and judgements about timing of lights, routes, chores to do on the way, adapting speed to neighbourhood and road conditions, etc.)
your daily routine decisions and actions are likely simpler (i.e., what to wear, planning around the contexts of your day, decisions about what to take with you before you leave the house; amount of pre-planning for children or pets; etc.)
you’re likely having fewer interactions with others, especially spontaneous, “unplanned” conversations
without so many things going on and with little variation in who you see, maybe your interactions and activities feel more repetitive or less interesting, more tedious
virtual meetings decrease the need (or even the opportunities, if screens are turned off) for paying attention to more subtle social cues and behaviours and maybe the need to monitor and control our own social behaviour when we find others “difficult”
maybe you’ve spent more time with “mindless” entertainment: Netflix binge-watching, doom-scrolling through social media, etc.
All in all, what you do need to do and pay attention to is more routine, repetitive, and “contained”.
When we aren’t going out and interacting with the world “out there” so much — when we don’t have as much variety in our day to day activities — we aren’t putting the same demands on our brain as we usually do. So what’s a somewhat resource-stingy brain to do?: Use the opportunity to take a break, to rest, to “gear down” and replenish the energy stores.
So, in this context, feeling slow, sluggish, lethargic, disinterested — however it feels to you - is a feature, not a bug. It’s your brain taking an opportunity (maybe even a rare opportunity, depending on how well you take care of it at other times) to go into “standby” mode, conserving energy and preventing unnecessary waste of resources.
Context-creating aka story-telling
But, I might hear you saying, if this is a feature, if this is supposed to be a good thing, why do I feel so crappy and depressed?
Ah….that’s where our brain’s proclivity for meaning-making kicks in.
Our brain is organized — both physically and in how it functions — in networks. You can imagine these as being like mind maps: a connected collection of ideas, experiences, sensory information, etc. When we remember something, we’re using those connections to discover an association. For example, seeing my resistance band on the table in front of the television is linked to doing my knee exercises — so when I see it, I’m more likely to pick it up and do some my exercises while watching: resistance band + television + exercising + feelings of increased strength/decreased pain.
We learn by making associations and categorizing (this is like that; Skiing is like riding a bike - I just have to look at where I want to go and let my body take me there; either I’m being productive or I’m not). And in order to do this “network-building”, our brain needs associations and context.
As humans, one of the key ways we tend to provide this context is by creating “stories” and explanations of why something is happening or not, or how things came to be the way they are. We look for “cause and effect” connections (what led to this and how I can change it?). We categorize (what kind of “thing” is this and is it a good or a bad thing?). We look for some way to have our lives “make sense”.
But here’s the tricky part: in all that meaning-making, we often get it wrong or are just making it up. Because my purpose here is not to show you all the ways this can happen, if you want more evidence of this, Aditya Shaula has a good discussion here
This meaning-making applies to “pandemic-depression” in that we also try to “make sense of” our physical sensations and moods. If your leg hurts, you look for reasons for that pain: Did I over-exercise? Did I bang it? Did I pull a muscle somehow? Did I sit funny or for too long? Is it something more serious? When you have a headache, you might do the same, but since it’s your head, interestingly, you also go to “mental” reasons, among others: Am I stressed? Is it my screen time? Am I focusing too long or too hard?
So…when it’s your mood, you create a “story”, an explanation that makes sense to you. That might look like: “I don’t feel like doing anything, I’m not interested in anything, I feel tired and draggy, I just want to sleep all the time -- I must be depressed. Yes, that’s it — I feel trapped and bored and I’m so burnt out from all this covid stuff.” You might even go on to think you need counselling or medication for your “depression”.
But here’s the thing…what if that story’s not quite right? What if you’re talking yourself into “depression”?
Before we start talking about solutions, let’s just take a peek at what happens in the brain when we use anti-depressant medications. As Thomas Nail points out in his excellent article on “noise” in the brain (Why Making Our Brains Noisier Feels Good)
The use of antidepressants has inadvertently left many of us less able to feel empathy toward others, laugh, cry, dream, and enjoy life just when we need those things the most: in the middle of a global pandemic.
That’s because many anti-depressants reduce the brain’s levels of activity in certain networks (the default system network, in particular, for those curious minds who need to know) and interfere with REM sleep and dreaming, which play a role in mood regulation. Both of these effects mean the medication is reducing the activity levels of the brain….which is exactly what we have happening around us as our activities and relationships get restricted by the pandemic protections.
So…if our “depression” is the result of less variety, lower levels of brain activity, and maybe telling ourselves a meaning-making Story about being “depressed” (which might lead us to feel or act even more depressed to unwittingly “conform” with that Story -- even without an intention to do so), what can we do to get out of our funk?
First, let’s change the Story.
Start by observing and self-talking about your current state as description, rather than as an interpretation. This means that rather than “explaining” to yourself why you feel the way you feel, try just describing it minus the emotional interpretations. (If you practice mindfulness at all, this is a similar concept — observe, note, and describe; don’t interpret or judge/evaluate.) Likely, you’ll arrive at a list of descriptors like: low energy, draggy, disinterested, tired, lethargic. Again, don’t jump to the next step of interpretation or self-diagnosis, just note those “symptoms”.
Now, let’s remember that this current state might make good sense. It’s your brain responding to its lower-stimulation environment by gearing down and not wasting resources unnecessarily.
That leads us to the next important quality of your brain. It rises to the challenge of what you need it to do.
Matching energy expenditures to meet demands
Some of the most effective treatments for depression involve increasing activity levels through exercise (more active body), attention to a good diet (more resources to fuel the active body), humour and other play (more active body and brain), electrical or magnetic stimulation of brain activity. Overall, increasing body and mental activity increases mood.
And that’s because the brain~body expends resources based on what we are asking of it. (Just like calories and weight: calories in excess of need = storage as fat for use in lean times.) Ask more and it gears up more. Lift a heavier weight than you have before and the body strengthens itself “in case” you need to do that again. Solve difficult puzzles and your brain “reconfigures” to strengthen itself to let you solve them more easily.
This isn’t always a direct, linear increase in energy or skills and in many ways it’s more like increasing the available “noise” to be directed in the ways you might ask of your brain~body. Nail describes treating depression focusing on increases in this energy-availability:
The study of these cognitive fluctuations [the “noise”] is leading researchers to approach mental health treatment in new ways. Instead of trying to reduce spontaneous fluctuations with antidepressants, they are trying to increase them. This is counter-intuitive because spontaneous fluctuations and mind-wandering can also lead to depressive rumination and anxiety. The flux theory, however, is that these negative habits of thought can be disrupted by flooding the brain with spontaneous fluctuations. …amplifying the noise might change our minds like shaking a snow-globe changes snow distribution.
“Amplifying the noise might change our minds like shaking a snow-globe changes snow distribution.” I love that image. We just need to give our little snow-globe brain a gentle little shake to wake it up, give it some energy, and let it settle out a bit differently.
Let’s just summarize what we have covered
The zero-passion/depression thing is a logical effect of covid isolation for many people. It's a brain thing.
Most of us have fallen into a set of routines with little novelty or "challenge" in our daily activities.
When the brain has no particular "demands" put on it, being resource-efficient, it kind of gears down, goes into "stand-by" mode, like a mini-hibernation until it's needed again.
And those feelings of “zero-passion” may be amplified by the Story we use to explain it; letting ourselves do less may be actually aggravating the problem of not-enough-(brain)energy.
What happens, then, if instead we see this mood as a natural consequence of less variety and stimulation in our lives?
That could lead us to some different kinds of solutions…
The best thing for the zero-passion mood is to recognize it is a brain-feature (saving resources), not a bug or a sign anything is "broken". Give some thought to ways to ask it to gear up a bit:
exercise
creative outlets
new learning
personal challenges
other ideas?
Don’t think you need to feel like doing any of these yet. You likely won’t. But do it anyway - so that you'll feel more like doing it. Expend energy to require more energy to “activate” your “stand-by” brain.
I suggest choosing maybe 3 challenges to start with: one physical, one fun/creative, one mental. “Gearing up” can also include being around external active energies:
nature (our brains reflect nature in interesting ways, but that’s another topic)
other people who are already “in gear” (in person as weather permits)
upbeat music, etc.
Feel nothing right from getting out of bed? Do something energizing first - a few physical stretches, use resistance bands, put on some upbeat music - whatever it takes.
Don’t feel you have to do hours of these if you find yourself resisting - just a few minutes at a time will be enough. Gradually increase that time as you can and if you need to in order to “calibrate” your brain’s energy level to where you want to be.
Of course, you want to make sure that you also provide the essentials for your brain to be able to physically generate that energy:
Eat well: In particular avoid sugar-binges, which can temporarily increase activation, but then cause a crash.
Sleep like Goldilocks - not too little, not too much, but just enough (this is a place where routine serves you and your brain).
Avoid substances that will slow down your brain activity: alcohol and cannabis are examples of these.
Avoid the Stories that will probably pop up about why you feel “this way” or why you will do the energizing activity later. Notice them and get on with “just a couple minutes”.
Last, but certainly not least, once you choose a few activities, pay attention to how those and other activities in your day make you feel afterward compared to where you started:
Energized?
More tired or lethargic? (For example, I always notice that the more television I watch, the more dragged out and unenthusiastic I feel about even bothering to turn it off. My maximum TV time to keep my energy levels up and avoid “zombie-ing out” is about 1-2 hours and the more “challenging” the content — documentaries, emotional engagement — the easier it is to watch and still have my energy afterword. )
Satisfied and ready to stop?
That feedback is your “brain energy-gauge”. For now, at least, minimize what you can of activities that reduce/sap/depress (ha! See how literal that is?) your energy and be ready to re-energize after one of them. Ask your brain to give you more by actually doing more and it will rise to the occasion.
Let me know how this works for you! What activities worked best for you? Or not at all? how did it feel to start paying attention to your “brain energy-gauge”?
(And just a note: If you have problematic situations you’re living with (rent, groceries, medication costs, covid itself…), clearly those need solutions too and I don’t want to minimize your emotional response to those challenges. But/and, keeping your brain~body energized in a healthy way can only help to make sure you have the mental~emotional energy to face them and work on solutions.)